Approach to Couples Therapy
I am trained in and regularly use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, which is an empirically validated approach developed in the 1980s. There is a large body of research showing EFT’s effectiveness at restoring and maintaining the connection between a couple. I help couples learn to listen to each other and understand their patterns and the underlying emotions that are getting activated in their connection. We work together to learn to listen in a new way and share in a new way so that patterns can begin to shift and feelings of security and closeness can be returned or discovered.
Benefits of Therapy
EFT helps 70% of couples recover from marital distress and 90% of couples report significant improvement. In this process the couples I work with often begin to see changes in how they see their relationship, their selves, and their world – it’s very exciting stuff to me!
In couple’s therapy you can expect me to be quite active and sometimes directive. We will work together to slow things down so that we can understand the patterns that have developed over time. While I might spend a good chunk of time working with one member of the couple, I will balance this out with hearing the other person’s perspective in the future. As we develop a thorough understanding of what is happening with each partner we will ultimately change the pattern, improve communication, and increase emotional closeness.
With EFT I set aside 90 minutes for each session. There are certain “benchmarks” in EFT that I am looking for in each session, so sometimes, we complete a session in 45 minutes, and sometimes we go for up to 90 minutes (60-75 minutes is typical). I will meet with you together first and then each of you individually, and from there on out, with the couple together. I will ask if it’s ok if I videotape our sessions so that I can go back and supervise myself, make sure I understand what’s happening, and also check in with my supervisor as needed. I would discuss this with both of you and get your permission in writing before I do any videotaping.